Saturday, June 25, 2016

The Post Where I Can't Think of a Catchy Title

So I apologize for the little hiatus in blogging over the past couple of weeks - - but now for a much needed update.

Let's see, where did we leave off? Oh yea, I had just found out I was given the green light for IUI #3 after doing a round of injectables, and basically over-stimming.

So I had the IUI, and no major issues there. It was pretty routine. However, shortly after the IUI (like literally, as we were going out to breakfast immediately after), I started having some fairly intense cramping. I mean, it was tolerable, but definitely nothing that I experienced after my last two IUIs - not even close.

The cramping was followed by some spotting and both lasted on and off for the next several days. Again, I hadn't really experienced much of either of these after my previous two IUIs, but I guess every cycle's different... In a way, I was just hoping that the "something different" this time around would lead to a different outcome.

As usual, I went in about a week later for follow up blood and ultra sound... and my ovaries were still super enlarged. About the size of tennis balls they said, which was a little unusual since they should have started shrinking back to normal after the meds., but still nothing too major to worry about.

The next step was getting through the rest of the TWW until my beta blood test.

The morning of the test, I started spotting...

In the back of my mind I knew that it wasn't good, but I still tried to hold out hope and tell myself, "Maybe it's implantation bleeding?" Especially since I was still on the progesterone inserts, and in past experiences it's taken about 2 days or so after stopping those to actually get my period.

By the time I had left Dr. M's office after having my blood drawn and made it to the restaurant where the hubs and I were going out to breakfast (notice the pattern here, ha), I full out had my period.


I swear we thought this cycle was going to be it. I just had a feeling... But then again, I also kind of just had a feeling that it wouldn't be this cycle (I just kept trying to push that feeling away and focus on the other one).

Anyways, it was the usual ride of emotion through the disappointment. Through the anger, Through the shock. And then it was back in for baseline blood and ultra sound to start round two on the injectables.

I am not giving up...

Later that afternoon I received the call from my nurse with the results and what I had presumed would be the ok to start the next round of injections... and ready for the kicker?!

Two HUGE cysts on my right ovary!! Arggg!

Cycle canceled.

And that's where we are folks... Waiting for monster cysts to shrink, while I apparently take a couple (unasked for) weeks to enjoy the occasional cup of coffee or glass of wine.

I'm still not giving up though... Not now, not ever. I will continue to fight for you and wait for you little bun, until you are ready to come join us.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Pulling the Trigger-Shot

There I was, bright and early this morning, sitting in the waiting room at Dr. M's office - just like I had for the past 3 days. And today was no different.  I was back for yet another ultrasound and blood work to see where we were at and determine if I had gone too far past the brink of hyper-stimming.

As the ultrasound tech. called me back, we both kind of looked at each other and chuckled as she said good morning and "good to see you again"... I then made a comment about how it's like deja vu all over again because we keep getting to see each other every morning.

The ultrasound was routine and after it was done, the tech. was getting ready to walk out of the room, and said, "Not sure if you will be back tomorrow, but if so I won't be at this office so good luck!" I smiled and said thank you so much to her, secretly hoping that I would not have to be back yet again tomorrow... and then I went to get my blood drawn.

From there is was the infamous waiting game for the phone call to hear my fate about this cycle.

As I sat in a planning meeting at work earlier today with my boss, my boss' boss, the director of HR, and a few other administrators and colleagues, I kept eyeing my phone waiting for the call to come so that I could briefly step out and take it. But in true fashion, of course when the call came in, we were in the midst of an important discussion that I couldn't quite step away from at that moment, so I had to let it go to voicemail.

At this point, I'm dying to just hear what was on that voicemail... but had to wait another hour until our meeting was over.

As soon as it was I ran to car, settled in with my pen in hand and the little note pad that I've been using to jot down my results over the past few days, and let the message roll...

"Hi Tiffanie, this is Kristen from Dr. M's office and I was just calling with your results from earlier today." She then went on to rattle off all of my numbers. As of this morning, I had 15 total follicles (9 on the right and 6 on the left)... ranging in size from 17.8 mm down to 9.1 mm. My Estradiol was now at 2,281 and my lining was up to 10.2 mm.

And then, it was the moment of truth. I fully expected and quickly prepared myself that with those numbers the whole thing would be called off... She went on to say, "So with that being said, Dr. M wants you to go ahead and take the HCG trigger shot tonight and come in on Sat. morning for the IUI."


Praise God!! All the prayers worked and we are officially moving forward with this cycle! I couldn't believe it, but was so so happy! Seriously, thank God!

Shortly here, I will be taking the trigger shot and then looking forward to Saturday.

Seriously, thank you so much to all who have been praying for us - it means the world! And all goes to show that in the end, even during the rough patches and trialing times, God is good! Of course, none of this guarantees a pregnancy, but that's besides the point at this moment. To me it's just a small (well, pretty big actually) reassurance that God is still in control and that all things will work for His glory and good... So here's to a prayerful thank you to the Lord, and to all who have been praying and sending positive thoughts and love.

From here on out, it's still one step at a time, but the small victories are always worth celebrating...

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Crazy Eggs...

So although my craziness has seemed to subside and I've been able to gain back control of my mental and emotional state, apparently this level of crazy has found it's way into my ovaries.


So after my baseline ultrasound and blood work that was done yesterday (Tues.) morning, I got a call from Dr. M's office saying that they wanted me to adjust my injectable meds. Initially, they had me on 75 units of both Follistim and Menopur (which I believe is one of the lowest dosages). I took that dosage for four days and then went in on the fifth day (which was Tues.) for my baseline.

As of yesterday morning, I had 8 follicles ranging from 14.4mm down to 8.5mm (6 on the right side and 2 on the left).  Obviously none of them were mature yet, but with having that many in the running, and my Estradiol level at 1,114 and lining at 9.1, Dr. M wanted me to only take 75 units of the Menopur and no Follistim - which I did last night.

Then it was back to the office bright and early this morning for another ultrasound and blood work.

This afternoon I then got a call from the nurse with my updated results from this morning. This time I had 10 follicles total, now ranging from 15.7mm to 8.4mm (still 6 on the right side and now 4 on the left).  Again, none of them are quite mature yet, but a few are getting close.  So, coupled with my Estradiol level going up to 1,709 and my lining being 9.7, they told me I'm now at-risk for hyper-stimulating.


So frustrating!! One, I don't want to develop OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation disorder - which you can read more about here), because that would be no fun... and two, I don't want to have this cycle canceled. Not after all this. Not after getting to this point and finally picking back up with treatments again. Not after having to endure a round of craziness (which was no fun for me or those around me)... No, no no!!

I was ordered not to take any medications tonight and to once again go back in the morning for yet another round of ultrasound and blood work to see how things are progressing.

At this point, all I can do is pray and ask for prayers. I trust that all of this still continues to be in God's hands and that ultimately His will, will prevail. Until then though, I can only pray for the strength needed to continue to endure this trial and for the ability to have faith in whatever His plan is in all of this... and umm, to cross my fingers that some of these crazy little eggs slow their roll and stop growing.