Tuesday, August 16, 2016

When You're Walking Through the Darkness...

What do you do when you're walking through a time (or season) of darkness?  When you can't see the light ahead of you?  When you can't see the path that you're supposed to be on?  Not even a glimmer of it to help you continue to put one foot in front of the other?

How do you "keep moving forward" when the uncertainty seems to consume you?

When you're walking through the darkness, what do you do?... The answer is, you just keep walking.

You just keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when you can't clearly see your own feet... Because, this is really the only choice you have.

Infertility is hard. Like really hard. And it robs you of so much. It robs you of things you didn't even realize you could be robbed of in the first place. And it has the capacity to strip you of so many other things as well.

But again, all I can do is keep walking. Keep doing all that I can, whatever I can, to keep moving along. Keep putting one foot in front of the other... because unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I can't let my whole life crumble before me. I can't just stop living. I won't.

Although at times it can (and will) bring me to my knees, make me feel like I can't keep going, and make me question my own ability to keep waking up every morning and even keep breathing, it cannot and will not have the ability to steal my entire life.

In some way, shape, or form, there is a way.

For me personally, that way is my faith. My trust in God. My strength that I receive from knowing my Savior Jesus Christ. The one who gives me the ability to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even in the midst of the most terrifying black darkness.

God is good, no matter what. And through everything, even through the most painfully, uncertain times, I know that He is still good. He is still in control. And I know that He has a plan for me (and us, including my husband) through all of this chaos.

My trust in God is unwavering and unbreakable. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are definitely times when it's tested and when it becomes a bit more difficult to hold on to, believe me there are. But no matter what, the bottom line is that it will never falter. It will never leave me... and God is the one who gives me this strength.

While this strong trust and faith in God doesn't make my life and my journey any less difficult, it does make it possible...

It makes me realize that no matter how thick the fog gets and how consuming the darkness may become, I'm not alone in it. I'm never alone. I have Him.

God is always walking with me... Always standing next to me... And sometimes perhaps even carrying me...

So at those moments when even I have to ask myself what to do when I'm walking through the darkness, I must always remember that the answer is: I just keep on walking... holding on to my true faith in whatever God's plan is for me, because no matter what, I know that plan, His plan, will always be good...


  1. This is exactly right, you just have to trust and keep going! -Unplanned Infertility

  2. Yes, sometimes that's the only thing left to be able to do... Thanks! :)

  3. This is pretty powerful!


  4. It's so hard to hold your head up and remember who you were before infertility. It changes so much of you, it's scary. One of the things I think it has changed most in me (in a positive way) is the ability to show support for someone who is having a difficult time. I'm no longer trying to offer advice and "fix it." I've learned that sometimes people just want someone to listen, ask how they're doing, and offer confirmation of the feelings they're having.

    You're absolutely right about just putting one foot in front of the other. You just have to keep going and try to remind yourself of all the wonderful things you still have in your life. But, it's okay to feel defeated, let down, and depressed sometimes.

    1. Thanks so much for your comment! And you're so right, in so many ways! It definitely does change you, but it's also up to you on whether or not you choose to allow that to become positive in some way. I definitely try to do that and honestly, through all of this, I have seen some of the good that's come from it. But there are still those hard days where you have to focus so much on just keeping one foot in front of the other. Thanks so much for reaching out and commenting!! :)