Friday, October 28, 2016

The Roller Coaster

For those of you who regularly read my blog, I apologize for the major hiatus I've been on for the past couple of months... Let me tell you, saying "It's been a roller coaster" is a major under-statement...

In thinking about where to start, a million and one things go through my head.  I've consider making this post short, sweet, and to the point.  I've consider making it long to include all the details and ups and downs.  I've considered taking the time to share the whole story across multiple posts... I've considered it all.  And to be honest, as I sit here and write this, even now, I'm not really sure which route to take, but I think it's time to just start and see where my words take me...

I guess let's cut to the chase...

On Aug. 9, 2016, while at work in the midst of helping provide a huge week-long, back to school training for all of the teachers and specialists I help support, I got the call from Dr. M's office with amazing news... I was pregnant!!!

Literally, the news was surreal, and as I started crying, it still felt like the reality was barely setting in.  To try to explain what it's like to receive news that you've been waiting SOOOOO long to hear, is nearly impossible.  There's a mix and rush of emotions.  There's excitement.  There's a little bit of fear.  There's trying to process what to do next, how to tell my hubs, who to tell after that, and so on... There's literally a million things going through your head at once.

But since I was still at work in the middle of hosting this training, I had to pull it together and go back to what I was doing, pretending as if the best moment of my life did not just happen.

As I wrapped up my work day, I had decided that I didn't want to tell my husband this amazing news over the phone, and that I would wait until I got home to tell him in person.  Unfortunately, I had class that evening for my graduate program, so that only made the waiting with this powerful news even longer, and harder... but I was adamant.

I left work and headed over to class, taking the next few hours to try and decide on a cute and meaningful way to share the news with my husband... all while still bursting at the freaking seems just wanting to tell someone!!... I swear, keeping this "secret" to myself for like 5 hrs. was definitely torture!

Finally class was over (early!) so I quickly drove towards home (trying not to speed, but let's be honest) and decided to make a quick pit-stop at the grocery store.  I bought a small container of poppy seeds and a pack of cigars.  Why you ask, since that's a pretty weird combination... Well, it's because my plan was to go home, tell the hubs I had something for him, and hand him a tiny poppy seed... so that's exactly what I did!  When he asked, "What's this?" a huge smile uncontrollably beamed across my face as I said, "That's the size of our baby right now!"

He was stunned... and shocked... and didn't believe me... and asked 20 times, "Are you serious??"

It was the perfect moment.

We reveled in this happiness and amazement that this was FINALLY happening... after over 2 years!  We seriously couldn't believe it, but welcomed every second of our shock :)

Over the next two days we lived in pure bliss.  Both of us randomly catching ourselves during moments when we'd forget that we were finally pregnant, and then suddenly remember and burst into smiles, or laughter, or excitement.  Saying it was amazing, again, is an understatement.

... However, everything came to a screeching halt two days later when we had our follow up Beta Blood Test... and my HCG levels were not doubling as they should.  They were rising, but just not quite at the doubling rate... and that's when the real roller coaster began...


  1. Ugh, sorry to hear about your short lived excitement...don't leave us hanging too long!

    1. Thank you!... And yes, next update is on it's way :)

  2. I've been thinking of you so much over the last few months. It sounds like you have had a wild ride lately... but I'm looking forward to reading it all and send virtual hugs of support!

    1. Thanks so much for touching base! I think about you often as well and hope you're having an amazing pregnancy! And thanks so much for your support! :)